Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Category: delusions

“You’re so strong and independent…”

“You’re so strong and independent, I didn’t think you would mind [all the time/effort/etc. I’m putting into H]”

[June, 2012]

“Everyone in the Band tells me that dating within the Band…”

“Everyone in the Band tells me that dating within the Band is looked down on, and you shouldn’t do it, especially if you’re different ranks, because it’s a form of fraternization–unless it’s really serious, or you’re going to get married or something. And then you have to be really careful and keep it secret until you get serious.”

[Feb, 2012]

“I’ve asked around the Band about H and I dating, and they all tell me not to worry about anything, or it being secret, and that we’re not doing anything wrong, and that it actually happens quite often–that people in the Band get involved with each other.”

[Sept, 2012]

“You keep saying I’m keeping secrets…”

“You keep saying I’m keeping secrets, but I don’t think of it as secrets. It’s sensitive information that has nothing to do with you, and isn’t useful for you to know.”

[June, 2012]

“…Are you talking about the parts I’m not playing in?”

“…Are you talking about the parts I’m not playing in? You mean the boring parts?”

[Re: orchestral music. Various times from 2008-2012]

“Oh, something was happening there?”

“Oh, something was happening there? …I wasn’t paying attention. You know, I usually tune out when I’m not playing my own part. Everything else is obviously insignificant.”

[2011. M often expressed his disdain and boredom with the parts in symphonies that had nothing to do with the brass, or his own bass trombone part, usually in a joking fashion. It was funny, until it became apparent that he wasn’t joking, and that it didn’t just apply to music]

“You’ve said that you think…”

“You’ve said that you think I’m actually jealous of my douchebag cousin because I secretly want to act like him, but I disagree. I’m actually a nice guy, unlike him. I would never treat women as badly as he does… I actually respect women and try to understand them, not just use them.”

[June-ish, 2012]

“But I didn’t know…”

“But I didn’t know that’s what being committed meant.”

[Late June, 2012. M’s response to my pointing out that his words and actions didn’t match up when he would tell me how committed he was to me, but then refuse to limit his behavior, correspondence, or time with H.]