Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Category: delusion

“My relationship with H has nothing to do…”

” My relationship with H has nothing to do with my relationship with you…That’s why I don’t feel like what I’m doing with her is wrong.”

[June 2012]


“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk…”

“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk and asking you to come and live with me, and actually going through with the move, is proof of just how dedicated and committed I was to us, and to making this work.”

[June, 2012]

“I see it as a matter of maintaining…”

“I see it as a matter of maintaining healthy boundaries with all my relationships. That’s why I can’t do what you’re asking for from me regarding H.”

[June, 2012]

“You’ve said that you think…”

“You’ve said that you think I’m actually jealous of my douchebag cousin because I secretly want to act like him, but I disagree. I’m actually a nice guy, unlike him. I would never treat women as badly as he does… I actually respect women and try to understand them, not just use them.”

[June-ish, 2012]

‘H told me that [the other bass trombonist in the Band]…”

“H told me that [the other bass trombonist in the Band, who had a girlfriend] propositioned her last year, one night when they were on tour and they got really drunk alone together…He said, ‘You know, H, we’ve been good friends a long time, and we have a really great time together, and we spend a lot of time alone,¬†and let’s just have some fun tonight.’ H said he apologized the next day, and it hasn’t happened again. But it sort of disappoints me, and makes me think he’s not actually a nice person like I thought he was. …Because nice people don’t do things like proposition other girls when they have girlfriends.”

[April 2012, a couple of weeks after M met H, and they started hanging out, talking, and getting drunk alone together every night]

“THOSE e-mails that H and I sent?”

THOSE e-mails that H and I sent? I don’t consider those sexual at all. …I consider that as just ‘witty banter’. I need outlets for ‘witty banter’ in my life. I think we are never going to see eye-to-eye on this.”

[September, 2012]

“No, H and I don’t correspond every day…”

“No, H and I don’t correspond every day… No, she doesn’t send me videos or pictures. And when she does, it’s usually just of cute animals and stuff.”

[June, 2012. M denying that H was 1. corresponding with him every day, and 2. sending him personal and ’embarrassing’ home-videos of herself doing things like rapping.

The pictures and videos of ‘cute animals’ she was sending him were often 1. videos of animals having sex with each other, or 2. videos and pictures of her cat and dog, which she’d often accompany with a message such as ‘This is what you’re missing right now by not being here at my place’]

“Well, I felt at some point you were playing…”

“Well, I felt at some point you were playing with my life too.”

[Late August, 2012. M comparing everything that he’d done with H, and everything that had happened with her before and after I moved to DC, to my telling him three years prior that we should cool our friendship for a while because we weren’t on the same page]

“I’m really sorry… I feel really bad…”

“I’m really sorry… I feel really bad that I didn’t look into this before you moved here.”

[M apologizing for not double-checking to make sure I could be put on his lease before I moved all my stuff to DC. (I couldn’t.) He’d been so distracted with H that he didn’t think to make sure of the logistics, simply telling me that he’d talked to management and it would be fine.

Consequently, I had to live there for a month without a key of my own, and M and I were completely dependent on each other to get in and out of the building, which was hard when he was often late–because he was spending time with H.

M didn’t try to help me look for other apartments where we could both be on the lease even after I moved there.]

“You don’t THINK you’re trying to control me.”

“…You don’t THINK you’re trying to control me. But you are.”

[Mid-June, 2012]