Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Category: Boundary issues

“If I have to choose between eating everything I want…”

“If I have to choose between eating everything I want and feeling totally gross afterwards, or not getting to eat everything I want–I’d definitely choose to eat everything I want, and just accept that I’m going to feel awful afterwards. There’s no question.”

[June 2011, trip to California:  Warning signs of being a cake eater]

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“I think you need to just put H behind us…”

“I think you need to just put H behind us and focus on what we can do for the present.”

[June 2012. M was still spending hours with H on a daily basis, and refused to change anything he was doing with her]

“My relationship with H has nothing to do…”

” My relationship with H has nothing to do with my relationship with you…That’s why I don’t feel like what I’m doing with her is wrong.”

[June 2012]

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking…”

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking this way, but I keep hoping that when all this is over, someday, you’ll be there waiting on the other side of it all.”

[July 2, 2012, the day M asks me for a ‘trial breakup’, and then waffles on it]

“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk…”

“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk and asking you to come and live with me, and actually going through with the move, is proof of just how dedicated and committed I was to us, and to making this work.”

[June, 2012]

“…At first I thought you were everything I was looking for.”

“…At first I thought you were everything I was looking for. You were perfect. And then that thing happened…And what I suppressed was the overwhelming desire to break up with you then.”

[Late June, 2012. M telling me he’d felt like we had issues for at least a year–which he’d never mentioned to me–and that’s why he was acting the way he was with H]

“You sound like my mom.”

“You sound like my mom.”

[June 2012. M’s response to my asking him if he could look at me when I was talking to him so we could have an adult conversation about what was going on between him and H]

“I disagree. I think you’re an extremely jealous person.”

“I disagree. I think you’re an extremely jealous person.”

[June 2012. M in response to my telling him that I’m not normally a jealous person, which meant to me that something about his relationship with H was off]

“I see it as a matter of maintaining…”

“I see it as a matter of maintaining healthy boundaries with all my relationships. That’s why I can’t do what you’re asking for from me regarding H.”

[June, 2012]

“You keep saying I’m keeping secrets…”

“You keep saying I’m keeping secrets, but I don’t think of it as secrets. It’s sensitive information that has nothing to do with you, and isn’t useful for you to know.”

[June, 2012]