Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Category: Avoidant personality

“I thought if I brought up taking a trial-breakup in the morning…”

“I thought if I brought up taking a trial-breakup in the morning, we could talk about it rationally and it would be less emotional. …Our conversations about H lately have all just been so emotional. Why can’t you just not get emotional?”

[July 2, 2012]

“I think you need to just put H behind us…”

“I think you need to just put H behind us and focus on what we can do for the present.”

[June 2012. M was still spending hours with H on a daily basis, and refused to change anything he was doing with her]

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking…”

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking this way, but I keep hoping that when all this is over, someday, you’ll be there waiting on the other side of it all.”

[July 2, 2012, the day M asks me for a ‘trial breakup’, and then waffles on it]

“…At first I thought you were everything I was looking for.”

“…At first I thought you were everything I was looking for. You were perfect. And then that thing happened…And what I suppressed was the overwhelming desire to break up with you then.”

[Late June, 2012. M telling me he’d felt like we had issues for at least a year–which he’d never mentioned to me–and that’s why he was acting the way he was with H]

“You sound like my mom.”

“You sound like my mom.”

[June 2012. M’s response to my asking him if he could look at me when I was talking to him so we could have an adult conversation about what was going on between him and H]

“I see it as a matter of maintaining…”

“I see it as a matter of maintaining healthy boundaries with all my relationships. That’s why I can’t do what you’re asking for from me regarding H.”

[June, 2012]

“But I didn’t know…”

“But I didn’t know that’s what being committed meant.”

[Late June, 2012. M’s response to my pointing out that his words and actions didn’t match up when he would tell me how committed he was to me, but then refuse to limit his behavior, correspondence, or time with H.]

“I’ve thought about going to therapy since the breakup…”

“I’ve thought about going to therapy since the breakup…Well, I haven’t gone yet because I need to make sure that it’s not going to jeopardize anything at work…I’m not going to go if it’s going to make me look bad to my colleagues.”

[Late July, 2012]

“Yes, I’ll totally go to a relationship therapist…”

“Yes, I’ll totally go to a relationship therapist or counseling if you think it’ll help us. I’m down for it. But I don’t want to end up in a situation where we end up getting sucked into going like seven or eight times. Once or twice is fine.”

[Late June, 2012]

“I think now that we had issues…”

“I think now that we had issues before I became friends with H. We had some real incompatibilities, like how we deal with problems…. I do think we’d discussed them. I know I said I could work through them. I just didn’t know that I’d change my mind and wouldn’t want to after I moved to DC.”