Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Month: March, 2013

“Oh, something was happening there?”

“Oh, something was happening there? …I wasn’t paying attention. You know, I usually tune out when I’m not playing my own part. Everything else is obviously insignificant.”

[2011. M often expressed his disdain and boredom with the parts in symphonies that had nothing to do with the brass, or his own bass trombone part, usually in a joking fashion. It was funny, until it became apparent that he wasn’t joking, and that it didn’t just apply to music]


“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It violates my healthy boundaries.”

[Early June, 2012. M telling me why he couldn’t either 1. spend less alone time with H late at night, or 2. communicate more of their ‘private’ conversations to me.]

“You’ve said that you think…”

“You’ve said that you think I’m actually jealous of my douchebag cousin because I secretly want to act like him, but I disagree. I’m actually a nice guy, unlike him. I would never treat women as badly as he does… I actually respect women and try to understand them, not just use them.”

[June-ish, 2012]

‘H told me that [the other bass trombonist in the Band]…”

“H told me that [the other bass trombonist in the Band, who had a girlfriend] propositioned her last year, one night when they were on tour and they got really drunk alone together…He said, ‘You know, H, we’ve been good friends a long time, and we have a really great time together, and we spend a lot of time alone,¬†and let’s just have some fun tonight.’ H said he apologized the next day, and it hasn’t happened again. But it sort of disappoints me, and makes me think he’s not actually a nice person like I thought he was. …Because nice people don’t do things like proposition other girls when they have girlfriends.”

[April 2012, a couple of weeks after M met H, and they started hanging out, talking, and getting drunk alone together every night]

“But I didn’t know…”

“But I didn’t know that’s what being committed meant.”

[Late June, 2012. M’s response to my pointing out that his words and actions didn’t match up when he would tell me how committed he was to me, but then refuse to limit his behavior, correspondence, or time with H.]

“THOSE e-mails that H and I sent?”

THOSE e-mails that H and I sent? I don’t consider those sexual at all. …I consider that as just ‘witty banter’. I need outlets for ‘witty banter’ in my life. I think we are never going to see eye-to-eye on this.”

[September, 2012]

“No, H and I don’t correspond every day…”

“No, H and I don’t correspond every day… No, she doesn’t send me videos or pictures. And when she does, it’s usually just of cute animals and stuff.”

[June, 2012. M denying that H was 1. corresponding with him every day, and 2. sending him personal and ’embarrassing’ home-videos of herself doing things like rapping.

The pictures and videos of ‘cute animals’ she was sending him were often 1. videos of animals having sex with each other, or 2. videos and pictures of her cat and dog, which she’d often accompany with a message such as ‘This is what you’re missing right now by not being here at my place’]