Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Month: January, 2013

“I’m really sorry… I feel really bad…”

“I’m really sorry… I feel really bad that I didn’t look into this before you moved here.”

[M apologizing for not double-checking to make sure I could be put on his lease before I moved all my stuff to DC. (I couldn’t.) He’d been so distracted with H that he didn’t think to make sure of the logistics, simply telling me that he’d talked to management and it would be fine.

Consequently, I had to live there for a month without a key of my own, and M and I were completely dependent on each other to get in and out of the building, which was hard when he was often late–because he was spending time with H.

M didn’t try to help me look for other apartments where we could both be on the lease even after I moved there.]

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“I’m not sure exactly what’s accounting for…”

“I’m not sure exactly what’s accounting for these strong feelings of wanderlust all of a sudden…but I think you’ll find that these feelings are going to just be as beneficial to us [as they’re being to H].”

[Early April, 2012]

“You don’t THINK you’re trying to control me.”

“…You don’t THINK you’re trying to control me. But you are.”

[Mid-June, 2012]

“I don’t understand why, if you’re not even here…”

“I don’t understand why, if you’re not even here, and H calls me to go do something fun with her, why I can’t go out and do those fun things and enjoy myself instead of sit at home alone and be bored or lonely.”

[Mid-June, 2012]

“When you tell people what happened…”

“When you tell people what happened, please don’t use the word ‘cheating’–you can say I was being inappropriate, or that we had differences, or whatever, but if you say I was cheating people will assume what I was doing was worse than it was… But I don’t think I was cheating on you, I completely disagree. We can play this semantic game forever if you want, but I know what H and I were doing was not cheating.”

[Late August, 2012]

“I’ve thought about going to therapy since the breakup…”

“I’ve thought about going to therapy since the breakup…Well, I haven’t gone yet because I need to make sure that it’s not going to jeopardize anything at work…I’m not going to go if it’s going to make me look bad to my colleagues.”

[Late July, 2012]

“Yes, I’ll totally go to a relationship therapist…”

“Yes, I’ll totally go to a relationship therapist or counseling if you think it’ll help us. I’m down for it. But I don’t want to end up in a situation where we end up getting sucked into going like seven or eight times. Once or twice is fine.”

[Late June, 2012]

“I made it very clear to H when we first started dating…”

“I made it very clear to H when we first started dating that I didn’t want her restricting or limiting my other female friendships, and she said she was fine with that and it wouldn’t bother her. …Wait, how do you even know what I’ve been up to these last few weeks, or who I’ve been hanging out with or talking to? I’ve gone out plenty of times with other people and been late coming back and also sometimes forgotten to call, and H has been completely fine with it. …No, none of them were other girls. You’re right, I haven’t been going out with any girl the way I was going out with H when we were together. But if I did, I’m sure she’d be okay with it.”

[Early September, 2012]