Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

“How to avoid making the same mistakes…”

My new bible…

http://thoughtcatalog.com/nacitta-kanyandara/2015/04/why-we-choose-the-wrong-partner-and-how-to-avoid-making-the-same-mistakes/

“Oh, my OKCupid profile?…”

“Oh, my OKCupid profile? I see it sort of the way I see Facebook, that’s why I updated it with my new information. It’s not like I’m looking to date, but I want to keep it current in case I need it later.”

(March 2012, four days after M moved to the Big City. His response to my inquiries as to why he had updated all the information on his OKCupid profile as soon as he moved to his new job and city.)

“You’re so strong and independent…”

“You’re so strong and independent, I didn’t think you would mind [all the time/effort/etc. I’m putting into H]”

[June, 2012]

“If I have to choose between eating everything I want…”

“If I have to choose between eating everything I want and feeling totally gross afterwards, or not getting to eat everything I want–I’d definitely choose to eat everything I want, and just accept that I’m going to feel awful afterwards. There’s no question.”

[June 2011, trip to California:  Warning signs of being a cake eater]

“I thought if I brought up taking a trial-breakup in the morning…”

“I thought if I brought up taking a trial-breakup in the morning, we could talk about it rationally and it would be less emotional. …Our conversations about H lately have all just been so emotional. Why can’t you just not get emotional?”

[July 2, 2012]

“I think you need to just put H behind us…”

“I think you need to just put H behind us and focus on what we can do for the present.”

[June 2012. M was still spending hours with H on a daily basis, and refused to change anything he was doing with her]

“Everyone in the Band tells me that dating within the Band…”

“Everyone in the Band tells me that dating within the Band is looked down on, and you shouldn’t do it, especially if you’re different ranks, because it’s a form of fraternization–unless it’s really serious, or you’re going to get married or something. And then you have to be really careful and keep it secret until you get serious.”

[Feb, 2012]

“I’ve asked around the Band about H and I dating, and they all tell me not to worry about anything, or it being secret, and that we’re not doing anything wrong, and that it actually happens quite often–that people in the Band get involved with each other.”

[Sept, 2012]

“My relationship with H has nothing to do…”

” My relationship with H has nothing to do with my relationship with you…That’s why I don’t feel like what I’m doing with her is wrong.”

[June 2012]

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking…”

“Maybe this is wrong to be thinking this way, but I keep hoping that when all this is over, someday, you’ll be there waiting on the other side of it all.”

[July 2, 2012, the day M asks me for a ‘trial breakup’, and then waffles on it]

“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk…”

“…On the contrary, I think that my taking a risk and asking you to come and live with me, and actually going through with the move, is proof of just how dedicated and committed I was to us, and to making this work.”

[June, 2012]